Domestic Violence
A lot of good and dedicated work is being done, but Batterer Intervention Programs have not proven nearly as successful as we need them to be in stemming domestic violence. One reason for their generally disappointing results may be that we often approach the problem ideologically rather than pragmatically and scientifically. Instead of demanding that abusive men “confront and take responsibility for how they purposefully use violence as a tool of the patriarchy to oppress women” (paraphrasing much domestic violence literature), it is more productive to recognize that many abusive men are trying — in clearly wrong ways — to create power that they otherwise feel they lack.
An important aspect of how The Center for Men and Boys in Social Policy works with male perpetrators of domestic violence is to allow and help them to express their feelings of powerlessness so they can begin to build real power in healthy, solid and confident ways. The other part of our solution is to acknowledge candidly that women are in some ways quite powerful — so that men can, without shame, accept the frustration of not immediately getting what they want and then work with women as co-equal partners in arriving at mutually respectful solutions.
The domestic violence equation must also include a calculation of the damage wrought by women’s domestic violence against men, which, according to reliable sampling of the population rather than police reports (which men often are reluctant to file), is neither infrequent nor harmless nor always in self-defense.
